


Selfish

by L0NE



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Gen, Not A Fix-It, Not Happy, Rewrite of the Ryoma/Corrin S Support
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-02-07 00:47:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12829731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L0NE/pseuds/L0NE
Summary: A part of her was still insisting he was playing her for a fool, or that this was some ridiculous Hoshidan prank she was unaware of, so she didn’t understand why her voice was strange, or why her hands had begun to shake a bit.





	Selfish

**Author's Note:**

> this is how i would have reacted during corrin’s s support with ryoma. keep in mind the romance does not actually happen.

The princess loved the ring she received from her brother, Ryoma. It was a gift from all of her siblings, this she knew. Yet, somehow, Ryoma giving it to her himself made it feel more special than ever.

  
Perhaps it was because he was such a high ranking person in Hoshido. Even though the princess herself was Hoshidan royalty, Ryoma felt leagues above her, to the point where she knew she could never rise above enough stations to be on his level. Such a thought may be disappointing, but to her, she saw it as a challenge, and an honor, to be related to someone so great.

  
Not to say her other siblings meant nothing. She couldn’t even begin to count how many times she’d caught herself staring at Hinoka on the battlefield mesmerized, how many times Takumi had had her back in her most desperate of times, or how many times she’d compliment Sakura’s dedication and hard work toward healing. Every single one of her siblings were beyond talented.

  
But between the five of them, they would all probably agree that Ryoma was most admirable, with Ryoma himself insisting the opposite.

  
She had been admiring the ring she’d received for a while now in her private quarters— a silver band intertwined with jade for a design that wove together like it were destiny for its materials to be used in such a way. She could picture it in her head when she leaned back against her bed and thought about it— Sakura, Takumi, Hinoka, and Ryoma all huddled together and fussing over how the piece should look, and the most-likely-true moment made her giggle.

  
She had had enough admiring for now, though. The princess sat up on her bed and decided she would seek Ryoma out to properly thank him for the ring’s safe delivery to her and for the idea of a ring for her. She had thanked him prior, as well as her other siblings individually afterwards, but he must have been the one to decide to give a ring in the first place, being the eldest brother. Even if he wasn’t, she’d thank him anyways, and then ask for names after.

  
Descending from her tree house and passing by familiar faces, she spotted Ryoma sitting by the entrance of the castle not very far away, tending to his blade with a cloth. He looked so focused on his cleaning that his face was frozen into a scowl as he meticulously examined his sword. The princess had seen Takumi and Hinoka do similar in battle, and she wondered if it was something in their blood that made them act so similarly.

  
If that was the case, that meant she’d made similar scowls after examining her Yato without realizing it, and that amused her a little bit.

  
“Hello, Ryoma!” The princess called as she approached from the side, and Ryoma’s face shifted into a stern glare into a soft smile as she stopped in front of him, smiling, “I see you’re hard at work, as usual.” She leaned forward, hands behind her back.

  
Ryoma calmly folded up the cloth he had been using and placed it beside him on the floor. “Of course,” He assured her, “Making sure one’s weapon is in good condition is essential to combat.”

  
Ryoma then peered out from underneath the castle’s awning, “It looks like it will rain soon. Come, sit with me where you won’t get wet.” He said, then gestured to the area around him, which would shelter the two from the incoming rain storm that the princess had not noticed before. That was her problem— getting too caught up in something and forgetting her surroundings. She couldn’t tear her thoughts away from Ryoma and the ring long enough to look up at the sky and realize it would start raining any second.

  
The princess took a seat on the floor across from him, shielding her just in time from the beginning of a drizzle.

  
The environment became much calmer, and she almost wished she’d brought a snack with her so she could relax during the storm. “Do you have a few minutes to spare today?” The princess asked, “I don’t want to intrude if you’re busy.”

  
Ryoma smiled, and the princess felt her heart lighten, “I always have time for you, my sister. What’s on your mind?” He asked.

  
The princess put her hand forward, showcasing the ring she had received from him a few days prior, “Well, I just keep thinking about this ring. It’s kind of like… my first family heirloom.” She smiled, and when Ryoma didn’t say anything, she continued, “It’s so beautiful. I can’t begin to describe how much I love it.”

  
Then, something peculiar happened.

  
Ryoma’s eyes avoided the princess’s gaze for the first time.

  
“I… I see.” Ryoma’s voice was low, almost nervous, and he seemed a lot more withdrawn than he was just a moment ago. He coughed uncharacteristically, possibly trying to compose himself, “E-Er, yes. I suppose it is.”

  
The princess paused, her face just slightly faltering.

  
Now that was odd. Why was Ryoma suddenly seeming avoidant? After all, he was the one who gave the ring to her.

  
She tilted her head, “Is… something the matter?” She put on another smile, trying to lighten the mood, “This ring means so much to me. Not only for the fact that it symbolizes the link I have to you all as blood family… But that it shows you all really do care. I can’t thank you enough for it, so…”

  
The princess let herself trail off as Ryoma began to look down at the ground between them, a scowl on his face. He then put a hand to his head, grimacing, “‘Blood family’... ‘family heirloom’...” He repeated, his voice still low, almost a mumble under his breath. He sounded like he was on the edge of slicing someone to bits on the battlefield.

  
“Would you rather I… not call it that?” The princess asked, confused. What else could she call it beside that? After all, that was what it was.

  
Ryoma’s head shot up, finally making eye contact with the princess once again and pulling his hand from his head, “Ah… N-No, er…” He said, putting up his hand in a stop motion.

  
But, after a moment, he sighed, and his hand fell to his side, “...Yes. I am sorry, my sister. There is something I must tell you.”

  
The princess scooted forward on the floor as the rain outside began to come down harder than a drizzle to insure she wouldn’t get wet, nodding, “What is it, Ryoma? I’m more than glad to listen.” In all honesty, she had no idea what Ryoma could possibly want to say to her, but she could tell from how distant he suddenly was probably in relation to the ring. Perhaps he was embarrassed by it, or maybe he’d given her the wrong band, or maybe it was possible it was fake.

  
Either way, she was willing to talk it out.

  
Ryoma took a deep breath, falling silent for a moment.

  
He then looked up at the awning of the castle, though it was as if he was seeing past that and looking directly up at the sky, “Father… Queen Mikoto… Please forgive me.” He breathed out.

  
The princess shifted in her spot, suddenly feeling nervous at the names of her parents. “Ryoma…?” She murmured, not expecting him to answer directly.

 

  
“I… owe you an apology.” Ryoma confessed.

 

  
A flash of light.

 

  
“I have not been honest with you. Nor have the others.” He closed his eyes.

 

  
A booming thunderclap.

 

  
His voice came out, strained, “The truth is… I am not your brother.”

 

  
The rain began to pour.

 

 

 

Her first instinct was to laugh.

  
She broke out into a wide grin, “Pfft, brother! You’re taking a page from Takumi’s book with this strange teasing.” She laughed, bumping her fist against his knee in a “stop it” kind of way, then bringing that same hand to her face so she could wipe away a tear in her eye. Ryoma had never been the joking kind, but everyone had their surprises, after all.

  
It was when she cleared her vision and actually looked at Ryoma’s face that she realized he was still not the joking kind, and would never be.

  
His jaw was clenched, his mouth a straight line, and his eyes looked devoid of any and all life.

  
He stared at her, not saying another word, just staring, staring, staring, staring.

  
He stared directly through the princess like she was nothing.

  
“What do you mean when you say that?” She asked, and her voice would only come out as a whisper. She wasn’t sure why. A part of her was still insisting he was playing her for a fool, or that this was some ridiculous Hoshidan prank she was unaware of, so she didn’t understand why her voice was strange, or why her hands had begun to shake a bit.

  
Ryoma face remained stoic, with no emotion.

 

 

  
“Exactly what I said. You and I are not related by blood.”

 

 

  
The princess felt like the wind was punched out of her.

  
Her beloved older brother, who she had come to trust and adore, was not actually her brother…?

  
It seemed beyond ridiculous, like something out of a twisted fairytale. She had spent these past few months so proud of her blood, so proud of her sibling, only to find they hadn’t shared any actual common ground, other than that they were royalty, which meant little to her in the first place.

  
Was he an adopted child? Or maybe he wasn’t the real Ryoma, and just an imposter? What if she never knew the real Ryoma to begin with? The thought chilled her.

  
But the princess recomposed herself. No. She couldn’t think that way. There had to be good reason for everything; wasn’t that what she usually believed? In that case, there must be a proper reason why Ryoma was not truly her brother.

  
She took a deep breath and was ready to speak once more. “Ah… Well…” She narrowed her eyes, “Do the others know? That you are not related to us… If you have kept it a secret, I will keep it a secret, but I would like to know your story.”

  
For a second, Ryoma regained human emotion, his eyes widening at her statement like he would have done normally when she spoke to him on occasion. When he returned to his previous sullen state a second later, however, he looked twice as hollow as he did before, his eyes like a dead fish’s.

 

  
“You do not understand.” He shook his head.

 

  
Another flash of light. Another thunderclap.

 

 

 

  
“You… You are the one that is the outsider here.”

 

 

 

  
Her instinct to laugh returned, but it died in her throat the second the words finished leaving Ryoma’s lips, because she knew he wasn’t lying.

  
If she wasn’t sitting on the floor already, her knees would have given out on her. She would have passed out. In fact, she felt like she would do that right now while sitting or that she had already done that and this was just an odd dream she was experiencing.

  
A dream so familiar.

  
Her hands were shaking before when she thought he was joking, but now her entire body was quivering beyond her control, and clenching her teeth and fists could do nothing to remedy it. She felt like she would puke at any second.

  
She put a hand against the floor and heaved for a moment, trying to regain herself before she acted in a way she would regret. Her mind was swarming with millions of thoughts.

  
How proud she was of Ryoma.

  
How proud she was of Hinoka.

  
How proud she was of Takumi.

  
How proud she was of Sakura.

  
How proud she was to be a Hoshidan-blooded princess.

 

  
All of that pride was built on nothing but a lie.

 

  
Ryoma reached out to her, and, without thinking, she smacked his hand away, panting. She immediately looked up, almost choking out an apology, but she couldn’t find her voice, and something inside her didn’t want to apologize to begin with.

 

  
All of what she loved about herself was nothing but a lie.

 

 

Her eyes locked with Ryoma’s, and he looked shocked by her refusal of support, but he quickly returned to his usual stoic glare before he could let that emotion overtake him.

 

 

All of what she knew was nothing but a lie.

 

 

  
The thunder above them boomed, and the rain poured.

  
Ryoma gave her a moment to breathe. After a few minutes, it seemed he didn’t want to wait any longer, because he began to speak, softly, “My father, King Sumeragi, told me, and me alone, the truth of your birth. Many years ago, Queen Mikoto came to Hoshido, asking my father for help. With her was an infant she had given birth to in her homeland.”

  
All the blood drained from the princess’s face as Ryoma lifted a finger and pointed it at her heart, like he was going to stab his sword through it.

  
She knew what he was going to say before he did. Every fiber of her being did, every hair on her body did, every thought in her mind did, and it pressed down against her, digging into her like a dagger.

  
It was past painful and beyond excruciating to hear him confirm it:

 

 

  
“That infant was you.”

 

 

  
Nothing but rain.

  
“Y-You’re…” The princess shook her head, eyes wide, “Y-You’re lying. You’re lying.” She moved backwards, her hand becoming wet as she reached farther back and lost some of the protection of the castle awning.

  
Her voice was still low, but she could still manage just a bit of volume as she cried out again, “You’re lying…!”

  
Her hand was getting wet.

  
Her hand.

  
Her ring.

  
She pulled her arm back into safety and clawed at the band that she had lovingly put on just a few days before, smiling like the happiest girl in the all of the world. Now, that thought made her feel sick.

  
“This…” She held up the ring so Ryoma could see, “T-This was a present from all of you. My siblings… M-My blood siblings…! This was supposed to make up for the memories I lost… The memories of being your sister that I lost…” Her hand was quaking so badly she dropped the ring in front of him by accident, and she couldn’t move her fingers properly to pick it up.

  
The moment still felt fake. Like it wasn’t real. This ring was supposed to mean something. It was supposed to be her first family heirloom, a special gift she would always hold close to her heart. The warmth of the day she received it felt like thousands of years ago.

  
Ryoma shook his head, “If you so desire it, you are still our sister.”

  
She clenched her teeth, “...No, I’m not. You’ve told me I’m not.”

  
Now it was Ryoma’s turn to get angry, “You think you can take back the family we have just like that?!”

  
Every part of the princess’s body alighted at once.

  
Maybe it was out of rage, or maybe it was because she was shocked into realization.

  
Of course this was familiar.

 

 

This was just her situation with Nohr, was it not?

 

 

When she learned of Nohr’s misdeeds, of its true nature and how she was kidnapped, it sickened her.

  
However, despite that, she still loved her Nohrian siblings dearly. Even if they saw her as a traitor, she constantly prayed to every god imaginable they survived their battles. Sometimes she would even find herself ready to call out to Camilla or accidentally call Sakura by a pet name she had for Elise.

  
Turning her back on such a place was the right thing to do— she knew that in her heart since day one.

  
She had stayed in Hoshido under the guise that it was her true home, that it was her true family, and that it would help make things right again.

  
But if she had stayed behind with her siblings, couldn’t they have changed Nohr for the better, being royals?

  
Everyone told her Hoshido was her true home.

  
Ryoma told her Hoshido was her true home.

  
But.

  
He had known the entire time that she was an outsider.

  
He lied to her face and told her to stay in Hoshido.

  
How could he do that within sound mind— to call her former family lies and scum, yet know that their relationship was no different in the same breath?

  
He was playing favorites despite the fact that on that day, that decision would change her life forever.

  
This situation was no different than back then.

  
Only this time, there was no “right” or “wrong” answer. Just one answer:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
**She had no one.**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
The princess stood quietly, shakily. She did her best to steady herself, and she looked Ryoma directly in the eye as she did so.

  
The lightning crashed. The thunder roared.

  
“You…”

  
She leaned forward and snatched the fabric of his outer cloak, pulling him close to her face so she could force her voice out loud enough to hear.

  
“BASTARD!”

  
He stared at her wide-eyed, immobile either due to shock or incapacitating anger. Whichever it was, the princess was going to let him have it while she could— her Yato was tucked away in her room, so she had no means of self defense if Ryoma decided to strike. She pulled at him harder, her rage growing, “You… You KNEW I was not your sister by blood…”

  
She didn’t bother wiping at her face as tears rolled down her cheeks. She was weak emotionally, she knew that, and she wasn’t particullarly ashamed of it. In a moment like this, it felt good to cry, but she knew that alone wouldn’t solve everything. She spat, “But you LIED… You LIED to me… to EVERYONE!” She hissed, “What kind of monster ARE you?! You manipulated me! You manipulated ALL of us!”

  
He broke free of her grasp by twisting his body fast enough, startling her. She let go of his fabric and stumbled backwards, “What?! Am I right?!” She asked, her vision blurred by her refusal to wipe her eyes.

  
“You have no idea what you’re talking about... I had to keep that a secret! For Hinoka, Sakura, and Takumi!” He yelled at her, and the rage in his voice was building. Any sensible person would take this as a sign to run away, but the princess put her foot down and yelled, “But if your secret hurts someone in the process, then you know you should have come clean about it in the first place! Gods, you are so damn... SELFISH!” 

 

She ran into the rain and cried, cried, cried, her face aching and her stomach churning.

  
This is what every defeat felt like at once.

  
What every terrible moment in her life playing at the exact same time felt like.

  
It was an unrelenting cacophony of swelling, broken emotions that ate away at her heart and mind.

  
“...You were no different than Xander.” She whispered, hearing Ryoma approach her from behind. “Xander knew I wasn’t his real sister, but he loved me and treated me the same as he did with everyone else. But now… Deciding to be tricked by your lies has made it impossible for me to have either family. I can never go back to Nohr after what I’ve chosen, and I… no longer wish to be with Hoshido.”

  
Ryoma shook his head, “Listen to me, please… You… At the very least, you are Hoshidan royalty, by Queen Mikoto’s blood!” He put a hand on her shoulder, and she winced. That wasn’t the same, and he knew it— Especially when Mikoto wasn't their mother to begin with. There was no real connection, and that was what she desired more than anything.

  
“Please… Just stop making excuses.” She removed his hand from her shoulder, “You…” She turned to see him looking pained, and her eyes decided they would shut down to the ground between the two.

  
Then she peered over.

  
The ring was still on the floor where she had been sitting.

  
She hadn’t picked it up after she dropped it.

  
She walked back and picked up the piece.

  
She thought about when she received it and how happy she had been. She’d run off to everyone to show how beautiful it was, getting some jealous and others intrigued, and she refused to take it off, even in the baths. She made sure to keep it spotless, keep it safe, and do whatever she needed to insure its quality.

 

 

 

 

_Because it was a precious family heirloom, given to her by her loving blood-siblings._

 

 

 

 

She opened her hand and threw the ring at the ground at full force, shattering it in two.

  
Bits of jade flew in every direction and the silver bent horribly, clean like a bone. Ryoma gasped from behind her, but she could just barely register her own emotions of indifference, much less whatever he felt. She pushed past him and walked outside into the rain, silent except for the sounds of her own sobs. It was a miracle that no one was stupid enough to be outside at a time like this besides her.

 

No one except the one who was already outside.

  
“Where are you going?!” Ryoma yelled at her, furious, and she was suddenly stopped by a tug on her arm. “You cannot just leave! You have nowhere to go… You have a duty to fulfill!”

  
The princess delayed her response, knowing that responding too quickly would make her seem hasty. It was true she was the tactician of the Hoshidan army, but at the same time, she felt ill just thinking about spending another second in another sham of a lifestyle. So instead, she slowly turned to face Ryoma, her eyes vacant.

 

“I’m going to find my real family.” She said, her voice flat, “You can keep Lilith, my Yato, I don’t care. I want to get to the truth… And I won’t find it with a selfish liar on my side.”

  
She turned back around, silent for a moment. She snatched her arm away from him when he didn’t say anything.

  
“I _never_ … _**ever**_ want to see you again.”

  
She began to walk away.

  
“I hope you’re pleased with yourself, Ryoma.”

 

 


End file.
